I Think I Love You... || Prologue

It has been 5 years, 364 days, 22 hours, 42 minutes and 37 seconds since you walked into my life...
It has taken me 4 years, 363 days 23 hours and 15 minutes and 57 seconds for me to realize that...
And now you're gone...
And I look back, wondering, thinking, hoping. Watching you walk away, knowing nothing ever happened. Thinking how it would've been if I had told you. Hoping that you'll find her disgusting and realize your best friend is the one you're looking for, the one you know you can live forever with. And I'm stupid because I was blinded, looking for something else and the thing I was looking for was always next to me. Laughing at my stupid, corny jokes, wiping away those tears after all my breakups and heartbreaks, and helping me in Math and Spanish while I helped you in ELA and Global. I was so dumb, and you were probably my brain, you ran away and now I'm numb, not feeling at all, and maybe... just maybe you'll realize and I think... I think way back to when we were still friends, when I still mattered. I was a fool... And I might... I think... I'm not sure but... I think I love you...

Missing You is Loving You <3

To Sammii:.
I know I love you because I'm going to miss you, I know I'm going to cry because you'll no longer be there anymore. I'm going to miss your vibrant personality and the fact that you are an idiot [ily mommii] and I know one thing for sure. You're always going to have a place in my heart, you've always been there for me [kinda] and I know that no distance can keep us apart mentally [er.. I hope :D] and I want you to know this: no matter what happens, no matter what you do, I don't think i can bring myself to hate you because of who you are. You play a pretty big role in my life and I hope you know that if you need any help at all, ever, I'll be there for you as you have been for me. I know I can trust you and I know [or I hope] you trust me too. The past four years have been amazing and I know half of it is because of you. Keep in touch. Don't forget those times because when everything's gone all you have left are the unforgetable and the blessings we all have but cannot count: Memories...

Poetry [Can You...?]

Can you remember,
Because i remember,
When everything was in color,
And not shades of grey...
Can you see,
Because i can no longer see the beauty,
THe beauty that was in the earth...
Can you tell me,
The words i wanted to hear?
Because i haven't given up,
Not yet...
And when i do...
Then i will have truely died,
But nothing can hold me back now,
just tell me...
Can you still love?

Poetry [Why Don't You Let Me Cry?]

When I'm sad, i look up at the sky,
I hide from all the voices,
And wish,
I want to cry,
And all my tears threaten to fall,
And when they do,
You wipe them away,
Why can't you leave me here?
Alone and in despair,
I want to be someone else,
Not with you,
I wanna be able to cry,
Without being judged for letting my emotions run wild,
And I don't even know why...
So why can't you leave me to cry?
For me to be exactly who I want to be,
I can't hide in shadows,
Forever...
So let me cry,
And regain my dignity on my own...
So I won't forget that I,
Want to cry on my own...
But I can't do that if...
You stop me everytime...
Why don't you let me cry?
Why don't you let me cry...

Poetry [I Wanna Be]

I wanna be the one,
The one you care about,
I wanna be the one,
The one who's ther for you,
I wanna be the one,
The one and only in your life,
And I wanna be the one,
Who you stay by,
And i wanna be the one,
The one you love,
Because I'm just me...

Poetry [Tonight]

Tonight,
I'll look at the sky,
And see the city lights,
Tonight,
I'll look at the moon,
And see its lovely smile,
Tonight,
I'll look at the planes,
And wish they were stars,
Tonight,
I am not alone,
And I smile,
Becuase you are by my side,
Even though it is just for this one night,
You are here,
Tonight...

-
I <3 this poem :D MY favorite one that i wrote next to the poem "Alone" on my other act. :D

Poetry [Afraid]

I'm afraid of happy endings,
Because they might come out wrong,
I'm afaid of tears,
Because I can never get them back,
I'm afraid of falling,
Because no one's there to catch me,
I'm afraid of beign alone,
Because no one will be there,
Not my family, not my friends,
And I'll cry, knowing I am afraid,
But you are here now,
And the ones i hold dear,
But when the lights close,
And I'm all alone,
I'll cry, I'll be afraid,
Because tomorrow you might not be here,
And I am afraid...

Poetry [Don't Let Me Go]

Don't let me go,
Into the darkness,
I want to stay with you,
You were an anchor,
And i was the ship,
You kept me safe on the shore,
But now you're disappearing,
Slowly fading from memories,
You're letting me go,
And you promised me you wouldn't,
But now the bright sunshine,
Is replaced with the dark abyss,
And it's ready to swallow me whole,
Please don't let go,
BEcause without you,
My life and heart isn't whole,
Don't let me go...

-
Just wanted to update because i havent for forever. xD

Poetry [So Hard To Say]

IT's so hard to say,
Everything i want to,
Simple questions i don't want to answer,
And the words all in the back of my throat.
I want to tell you everything,
But I'm afraid of hurting and getting hurt,
It's time to step up to the plate,
And take a swing,
THere's nothing more to lose,
Especially since now we don't act the same,
Especially since now we aren't close,
Nothing is right,
Nothing is what i want,
Everything has changed,
And i think only I noticed the change...
But maybe I'll find my voice,
So i can finally tell you,
But it's so hard to say the simple words,
I'm afraid,
Knowing you'll never be there,
The simple hellos in the halls are different,
They're no longer the same,
Maybe i should tell you,
But it's so hard to say...

Poetry [You Don't Know Me]

You don't know me anymore,
And you used to think you did.
You used to be the one i relied on,
The one always there,
But if you think back to the recent memories,
Was I in them as well?
You claim you know me,
But what if everything was a mask?
What if we were never friends,
just allies?
You don't know me,
Not before,
Not now,
But maybe you'll find out...

The Love Bet: Part 16 ♥

The Love Bet; Part 16
--

"Mom? Where are you?" Mariete paniced as she awoke from her sleep to see darkness. She had forgotten that she couldn't see.
"Honey? What's wrong?" MAriete's worried mother cooed.
"I'm scared..." MAriete admitted.
"Brenda... there's a boy named Victor who's here to see MAriete..." MAriete's father said.
"Let him in," MAriete said softly.
"Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Welsh," Victor said politely as he took a seat next to Mariete and the parents left the room.
"Hi," MAriete said softly as she felt her heart beat a little faster.
"How're you feeling?" Victor asked with concern.
"How do you think I'm feeling?" Mariete snapped.
"Well... you just hit your head. It's not that bad..." Victor shrugged.
"What do you know?" MAriete asked as she tried to move her arms.
"Why won't you look at me?" Victor asked in confusion.
"I CAN'T!" MAriete yelled.
"Why not?"
"My arms are paralyzed. I can't turn to face you. I'm blind
meaning I can't see!" MAriete cried as Victor looked at her in shock.

Victor was looking at MAriete as if she was crazy but MAriete couldn't see. Though she couldn't see, she felt the pity. The second Victor opened his outh again she knew she'd hear pity. She knew it was all a lie. IT was for the stupid bet, and she kept reminding herself that. She knew that she was using him to make Derrick jealous too, and she didn't feel bad for anyone. Derrick deserved it, and Victor was his sidekick.

"Are you alright?" Victor asked with concern.
"I don't want your god damned pity! I want to be me! I want to go back in time, i want you to leave me alone!! I want to be able to see, and able to move again! BUT I CAN'T AND LIFE SUCKS THAT WAY!" MAriete screamed as Victor just looked at her in sorrow.
"I'm sorry you feel that way," Victor mumbled.
"I'm not!" MAriete snapped.
"I'll just leave these here.... Get better soon," Victor muttered as he set the flowers in the empty vase by the hospital bed.

Mariete heard the soft click of the door close and she tried to think of the last things she saw. She wanted to be able to do more things then lie here and wait for death to claim her. THe whole scheme was ggetting stupid, she was falling. She was falling in love, and she was going to land hard. And she hoped she made the target. MAriete let out a sigh and felt a soft pinch on her arm then she was unconcious once more...

The Love Bet: Part 15 ♥

The Love Bet; PArt 15
--

Mariete stared at the equations on the white page. She stopped her work and glanced out the window. The sun was setting and the sky was streaked with pinks, oranges and purples. She rose from her seat and walked to the balcony in her room. She opened the double doors and sighed. The sky looked so beautiful, the clouds glowed with a light and then her computer let out a small chime and MAriete ran back in and swirled in her seat to face the computer.

Derrick_RocksxD: ur gunna pay...
Derrick_RocksxD has signed off

Mariete rolled ehr eyes at the obvious IM and twirled her pen between her fingers thinking. Then she placed the pen on her paper and started to write. HEr mother knocked on the door and MAriete continued to scribble. Her mom peeked over MAriete's should and sighed. Her mother retreated and left but came back shortly with a tray where there was a plate of noodles covered in tomato sauce. IT had a little basil sprinkled over it and there were a few meatballs. THere was a bowl of soup and MAriete sighed. She finished up her homework and slipped the papers into her bag then walked over to the table there. She took the tray out into the balcony and sat at the table there.

She sat at the white chair and looked at the beautiful sky. She glanced at the covered cansas in the corner and smiled faintly. She speared her meatball and bit into it. She looked at the darkening sky and spponed some noodles into her mouth. Mareite finished up her dinner and carried the tray back into her room. The sky was darker not. The reds and oranges and light purples were replaced with shades of blue and bordereing on black. A few stars twinkle in the sky and she just thought she saw a shooting star.

Mariete carried the tray to the kitchen where her mom was busying herself with plates. Mariete walked a little closer to the sink where she accidentally slipped and the tray went flying. She had hit her head against the marble counter and the tray landing a few feet away. Her mother ran over to the girl lying there and checked to see if her daughter was alright.

"HAROLD! Your daughter!!" her mother screamed.
"What happened?" Mariete's father asked quickly as he raced to the kitchen where the unconcious girl lied.
"She slipped!" Mariete's mother cried.
"Call 911!!" he said quickly as his wife ran to the phone by the microwave.

MAriete lied there, looking peaceful, and the world was dark to her. Her parents were worried and her mother was rambling on the phone. Soon a distant siren was heard and the body was placed on a stretcher then into the ambulance. She couldn't hear a thing and she lied there. Just lying there.

"Will she be okay?"
"She is fine... but there might be some problems. She should be awake in a few days," the doctor assured the worried parents.

Two days later:

"Where am I?" Mariete groaned as she tried to touch her forehead to find out she couldn't move her arm.
"Harold! Get the doctor!" Mariete's mother said in fear.
"Why can't i see?" Mariete gasped as she tried to look around.
"I'm sorry, but i didn't know this would happen," the doctor said apologetically.
"Help! I can't see!" MAriete cried as she reached blindly for someone.
"Calm down," the doctor said gently as her mother tucked her back into the bed with trembling hands.
"Will i be blind forever? Why can't i move my arms?" MAriete cried.
"It should be temporary," the doctor assumed.
"It better be!" Mariete snapped as the doctor left and MAriete's mother started to cry with her father holding her.

Mariete wanted to cry. But she felt no tears. She wanted to see a little. Even if it was all in shades of grey... but she couldn't see... everything was so confusing...

Random Speech Thingy...

I read this and i just had the urge to post it... lolz.
--

'What I have learned is that life is all about choices. I've made a lot of mine. Yours are still to come. And you'll have a lot of choices to make. Which job, where to live, who to love, when and if to have kids. Sometimes you will make the right choice and sometimes you will make the wrong choice. But you have the freedom, the liberty and the independence to do what you think is right for yourself'
- Melissa Jacobs

Poetry [Here Again]

Poetry [Here Again]
Here I am again,
Staring at the same crescent moon,
Wishing on the same old star,
And getting heartbroken.
Here I am again,
Wondering if you'll ever come back,
Because I hope you know,
That I have no regrets,
And if only I could be there,
With you,
And not here,
Again...

The Love Bet: Part 14 ♥

The Love Bet; Part 14
--
'Today was a pretty normal day. I would say more, but i know that if i do you'll laugh. Apparently you don't really know me. I know where all the old journals are in the library. I also know of your affair with the li- oops. I wasn't supposed to say. But let's face it, you're a "professional" and you DON'T know what you're doing. You're just going alog with it, copying notes off of other English teachers during meetings, sleeping during reading time. And robbing lesson plans off others. Seriously, when are you planing on doing your work? And you better give me good grade or else my pictures will "accidentally" fall out of my bookbag and be lost in the halls. It's not like your really reading all of this, your only reading the first line, the middle line, and the last line and judgin it by how much we wrote. So you shouldn't realyl grade us. Just give us a 100%. You're too lazy for everything else anyways. Well, since you're such a loser, i decided not to make you read even more about your failures. You should just resign, retire, or whatever. Kill yourself... or something. BYE LOSER TEACHER!'

Mariete smiled at her work. After yesterday's two texts she started to ignore everyone else. Then on her desk, her phone buzzed. IT was so sudden that MAriete jumped out of her armchair and grabbed her phone.

'LEAVE THE SCHOOL!'

Mariete wondered who this person could be. She had been avoiding a lot of people, mainly Victor... She had found out everything after finding a note in her locker...

"I really like you... will you go out with me?" that was what the note said. Signed with his name and MAriete rolled her eyes.

She wouldn't admit that she liked him too. It's just that Victor probably figured everything out and her life would be ruined. Besides, what would happen if it was another stupid love bet? She didn't want to suffer.

At home, Victor waited for Derrick to arrive. He wanted to call off the bet. he really liked Mariet, and didn't want to go after her for a bet. HE genuinely loved her. He never used the word before. Besides, it helped that she was the same girl he was in love with from a year ago. He sighed when he realized that Derrick was twenty minutes late. Victor grabbed his cell phone off his cluttered desk and his phone vibrated.

'If you go after Mariete, you're going to pay...'

Victor rolled his eyes and his phone vibrated once more bringing Victor's attention to the phone screen.

'I'm not gunna be there till latee. So juzt txt me w/e u nded to tell me. Buzii.'

Victor rolled his eyes at the text because he knew that Derrick was never going to be responsible. Derrick needed to learn from his mistakes and Victor sighed as his fingers flew across the full keyboard.

Mariete looked at her pile of textbooks and grabbed her math textbook. She grabbed a few sheets of looseleaf and started to copy down problems. Mariete tyed her hair back and her cellphone vibrated once more. MAriete rolled her eyes and grabbed her phone once more.

'I'll be watching you... And if you go after Victor, you'll pay'

Mariete chuckled at the stupidity of the person who sent it. She noticed that the person had not hid their phone number. She grinned and clicked call. It was going to be interesting.

"Hello? This is Helena, how may i help you?" the girl's voice said through the cell.
"Helena, don't ever bother texting me again," Mariete snapped as she hung up and blocked the girl's cell off her phone.

Helena stared at her phone in disbelief. How did Mariete know her phone number? How did she figure out it was her sending her texts. She ignored the comments and turned to her computer screen.

OMGiTzH3L3NA: She figure it out. Plus, she mite rly like Victor. Wat shud i do?
____________: I'll figure it out. Bsides, there's still the bet...
OMGiTzH3L3NA: OMG! You're so smart!
____________: Nah. You're just dumb.

Victor pressed send and he sighed. He threw his phone onto his desk and waited for Derrick's reply...

MAriete sighed and got back to work. She had no clue why she signed up for all the advanced classes. She glanced at her black leather book and sighed. She didn't want to turn it in... But maybe... just maybe... Victor was sincere. MAriete took the book and wrote down all her thoughts in it. She was going to be sooo dead.

Derrick glanced at his computer screen then at the clock over his bedroom door. His phone buzzed and he opened the unread text.

'I'm calling off the bet. I rly like her, and im not gunna let it ruin everything. sry. i o u.'

Derrick glared at the phone and then turned to the computer screen. He double clicked on a preson's screen name and told the person what was happening... MAriete was going to pay...

Poetry [Broken Wings]

These broken wings will heal,
I may not be sure when,
But I'm keeping hope and faith in myself,
And i know that someday,
Even if my wings are broken,
I'll at least fake a smile,
Before it all comes crashing down again,
And I'll put up a fight,
So I know that i hadn't surenderred,
And as I fall,
I'll tihnk about it all,
I'll remembered the past,
And smile at the memories of when,
I had my wings,
And how i didn't need to fake a smile...

The Love Bet: Part 13 ♥

The Love Bet; Part 13
--

"About a year ago I gave an assignment to the class. It affected thir grade, it made up 90% of their grade. This year, i will be selecting four students from this class to put their project in the library and it will affect 70% of your grades. THe four students will be Mariete Welsh...." Mr. Hermit said but MAriete stopped listening when she heard her name.
"The assignment is to keep a journal, feel free to include personal thoughts..." the teacher smirked as MAriete sat there dumbfounded.

~
'So here i am, writing this load of bullcrud. It's stupid! Everyone may have to do it but why does mine have to be in the library? Is it just because I'm new? Gosh, you're so races. Stupid desperate teacher who has no life. Get laid or something!!' MAriete wrote in the library.

Mariete finished up on the very brief entry and grabbed the journal that she always read from.

'Fine! I'm getting sick of hanging with him anyways! What kind of friend is he? Always judging my actions like he's the king or something! Dammit! He needs to grow a heart! I hate him! UGH! Dammit! Now i'm sounding like a girl!! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!! IF it wasnt for stupid Derrick, Mariete wouldn't have left!! I have no cluw hat I'm writing now either!! BUT YOU BETTER WATCH OUT MR. HERMIT! YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!!'

Mariete read that short passage and she put two and two together. This person could only be one person. After all... who else was so close with Derrick? MAriete cried silent tears, she seemed to be doing that a lot lately. She packed her bag and her cellphone rang once more... She flipped it open and saw a text message.

'I know your secret.'

Mariete felt the phone vibrate once more.

'If you know what's good for you, you'd transfer or else you'll pay.'

Mariete's cellphone dropped out of her hand and her face paled. Who could this person be?

The Love Bet: Part 12 ♥

The Love Bet; Part 12
--

Mariete tilted her tead towards the sky and hugged her knees close to her chest. She let out a sigh, and bagan the story of her life...

"A year ago, i left this school. I was overjoyed. The one i thought i loved used me for a et, and then he broke my heart. On top of that, my friend for life, decided that popularity was more important and left me a few days before the heartbreak. It was all because of the Love Bet. So many girls were hurt by it. A geeky little nerd like me couldn't resist the temptation of one of the most popular boys in school. I changed my looks, i got rid of my old wardrobe so that i wouldn't bring his status down. But i guess it was all false," MAriete said quietly as Victor listened.
"..." Victor had no words to say.
"Are you okay?" Mariete asked as she looked at the boy lying besides her.
"By any chance... was the boy's name Derrick Kingsly?" Victor questioned.
"Why?" MAriete asked not wanting to say more than needed.
"Because i think i might know..." Victor said.
"I'm sorry, but i have to go," MAriete said quickly to avoid the questions. She grabbed her bag and bolted under the fence to the school. She gave a quick backwards glance to see Victor lying there, deep in thought.

Victor stared at the clouds in the sky. If she starts to avoid him, he knew that he would lose the bet. He only had one month, but did he want her to be hurt again? She had to suffer through the bet once already, could she live through the pain and humuiliation once more? He let out a sigh as th eclouds started to move. He closed his eyes and let the wind tossle his hair. Then he stood up, classes ended soon, and dismissal was nearing...

~One Week Later

"Excuse me!" MAriete yelled as she raced to English as she slipped ona paper. She tried to grab someone for support only to drag the person down.
"Slow down next time," the boy smirked.
"I'm so sorry!" Mariete said in a rush as she grabbed all of her books and shoved them randomly into her bag.
"No problem," the boy said.
"I gottta go! Sorry!" MAriete said as she stood up and glanced at the boy. It was Victor. She ignored it and ran up the stairs to ELA only to be blocked by Helena.

Helena stood there, outside the staircase exit. MAriete rolled her eyes and tried to push back Helena only to be forced to stay. Helena smirked and grabbed MAriete's arm in a death grip. Helena dragged Mariete to the roof and threw her onto the floor.

"What the god damned hell do you want?" Mariete sneered.
"I want you to stay away from Victor," Helena said sweetly.
"Why should I? It's not like you like him or anything," MAriete said as she rolled her eyes.
"You don't deserve him. You'rea geeky nerd inside, no matter what you do, losers don't become alphas," Helena scoffed.
"Then why don't you figure that out for yourself, because then you're pretty much a loser yourself," MAriete snapped as she grabbed her bag and stood up. She dusted off her white blazer then glared at Helena. "Go talk to your reflection, I'm not the friendless one."

MAriete ran to her ELA classroom just before the bell rang. She slid into her seat and opened up her notebook. Life was so complicated...

Poetry [A True Friend]

A true friend,
Helps you up when you're down,
Hugs you and tells you everything's gonna be alright,
And will always stand by you.

A true friend,
Will call you for no reason at all,
Will tell you all their secrets because they have nothing to hide,
And will always stay strong for you.

A true friend,
Wouldn't judge you,
And wouldn't care if you're crazy,
And they won't tell you lies.

A true friend,
Will stay when it's raining,
Run when you're both joyful,
And best of all,
Just be there with you...

And a true friend,
Is someone you can rely on,
Someone you know who won't EVER let you down,
Because they have your back,
And won't ever let you fall...

Poetry [Believe Me]

Believe me,
When i say that i love you,
BEcause i have never said that,
To the others.

Believe me,
When i say that I'll stand by you,
Because i have never done that,
Or even tried.

Believe me,
Because i believe in you,
You'll find your wings,
And spread them,
Just believe me,
BEcause i love you,
And have faith in you...