Poetry [Don't Wanna Keep Those Memories]

I don't wanna look back sometimes,
And I don't wanna break down in tears,
I don't have a choice sometimes,
And I really hate it,
I don't wanna keep all those memories,
When they hurt so much inside,
I 'm sick and tired of it,
When all I end up doing,
Is cry...
I wish sometimes,
On the stars on my ceilings,
I cry sometimes,
And hope someone's listening,
Because I really don't wanna,
I really don't wanna keep all those memories,
No matter how precious,
And I really don't like looking back and crying,
When I told myself,
That I wouldn't cry...
And I laugh,
And I fall,
I tear up and wanna die,
When I look at those memories,
And sometimes I just don't wanna,
I don't wanna keep those memories...

Poetry [The Song Keeps Playing]

I'm walking down the street,
All the way to fifth avenue,
The song plays in my head,

I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only way

And I kick up the dried leaf,
And a pebble or two,
I keep walking,
Past the dog,
And past that deli,
I walked down the grey pavement,
And the song keeps playing,

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

I keep walking,
And the song keeps playing,
Two minutes pass,
And I'm still not there,
And the chorus repeats in my head,
Another minutes flies,
And the song is over,
Only to be replaced,
But I didn't cry,
No matter how much it hurt,
And I forced that smile,
And the song keeps playing,
I kick up a leaf,
And I kick another pebble,
I keep walking,
And as I reach fifth avenue,
I pull the device out of my pocket,
And type words I'll never say,
And I slip back in,
And press pause,
Wishing like the song,
I could pause my life for a moment...

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you

What I thought was a dream
A mirage
Was as real as it seemed
A privilege
When I wanted to tell you
I made a mistake
I walked away

And I closed my eyes,
For a second,
And the songs stopped playing,
And I looked up,
All of that,
Walking to fifth avenue,
With no goal in mind...

--
Song(s):
Shadow of the Day- Linkin Park
Gomenasai- t.A.T.u.

The Love Bet: Part 22 ♥

"Hey mom, I got the best grade in class today," Mariete beamed from ear to ear.
"Oh, that's nice," her mom said as she mixed the batter.
"Hey mom, today the best thing happened!" Valerie smiled from ear to ear, "I'm cheerleading captain!"
"Oh, that's great!" her mom said with more enthusiasm.
"I know! I can't wait!" Valerie said contently as he dipped her finger into the bowl to get a taste.
"Mom, my teacher said I'm the smartest in the class," Mariete added as she tried to keep the attention on her.
"Mom, guess what?" Valerie said, deliberatly keeping the spotlight, "I won first place in the gymnastic competition too!"
"That's great, we have to go celebrate!" her mom said happily as Mariete struggled to steady her trembling lip and jumped off the kitchen stool and back to her room and turned once only to see her elder sister blow her a kiss and smirk.

"Good morning Mariete, how are you feeling?" her mom asked cheerfully as she smiled.
"I'm doing great," Mariete lied.
"That's nice," her mother said.
"Mariete, Victor called," her dad piped up.
"I'll call him later, I need to catch up on school work," Mariete said dismissively before grabbing a plate of breakfast and bounding up the stairs to her computer.

It was a nice morning, it waqs a nice Sunday morning. She placed the plate on her desk and picked up a piece of toast and bit down on it before going outside to retrieve her artwork. Her finished artwork. She looked at the blue sky, dabbed with all the right shades, her used paint. And frowned, she didn't remember doing any of it. Then she saw a post it note flutter to the ground.

'Sorry, I finished the picture. Couldn't help it. -Victor'

For some reason, Mariete didn't mind. She was grateful that it was Victor who finished the picture. Then her forgotten cell phone vibrated loudly on her desk and she walked over to it.

'Hey Mariete, how are you feeling?'

Mariete smiled faintly and thumbed back a reply and turned on her computer. Then her computer flashed to life and she smiled. She opened a folder on her desktop (labeled Schemes) and she opened the document labeled The Love Bet. She was going to make Derrick pay no matter what and an email popped up. She double clicked on it.

To: iMariete.Welsh@hotmail.com [Mariete Welsh]
From: ValiantVal@aol.com

Don't you ever forget your past, I'm still watching you...

Mariete shivered and went back to typing. When her door opened to reveal Victor. She minimized the document and smiled at him.

"Hey Victor, what are you doing here?" Mariete said casually.
"Just checking up and trying to make sure you don't hit your head again," Victor teased.
"It wasn't funny!" Mariete protested.
"It wasn't, it was kinda scary," Victor admitted.
"I need to bring this down, I'll be right back," Mariete promised as she signaled at her plate.
"Sure," he shrugged as Mariete smiled and walked out the door.

Then Victor looked at the computer, there was a tab. The love bet? Victor's curiousity got the best of him and he maximized it once more. And read the whole document, eyes ripping across the page. Jaw dropping. He was shocked. And then he heard footsteps, someone was coming. And he minimized it once more and Mariete came in smiling.

"I have to go, my mom just called," Victor lied smoothly.
"Oh, okay, see you soon," Mariete said obliviously as he left the house and Mariete had no clue.

--

ooooOOOOOoooooo shit. Victor knows everything now!! ;xx
Dun dun dun duuuuuuunnn.
bad chapter anyways. Can't wait till it ends.

The Love Bet: Part 21 ♥

The Love Bet; Part 21
--

At the young age of five, Mariete knew many things. She only cared about one thing though and that thing was attention. Mariete loved attention, even as a little kid. But when she was young her parents didn't give her as much attention as they gave to Valerie. Who was Valerie? Valerie was Mariete's older sister, her senor by 6 years. Valerie was the best at everything and Mariete hated it.

Mariete quivered in her sleep.

The young girl hated not being able to do anything about the fact that she couldn't do anything to get them to focus on her. She tried breaking plates, throwing things, and having tantrums, but they didn't care. They scolded her lightly and fawned over her sister as her sister smirked at her.

Mariete raised her hand to hit the invisible force away.

"Mariete, you're never going to be like me, so why don't you just run away?" Valerie said wickedly to her little sister who was glaring with her green eyes as fiercely as she could.
"I hate you! All my friends older sisters are nice!" Mariete yelled at the beauty, slick black hair that shone in all the right lights, the simple flowing waves and the perfect almond shaped blue eyes that looked deadly.
"Good," Valerie said as she went back to brushing her hair.

Mariete batted the air, a tear slid down her face.

"I HATE YOU!" Mariete shouted before lunging and grabbing her sister's throat, squeezing it tightly.

Then Mariete let out a scream.

"I HATE YOU!" Mariete continued, dragging her sister with an unkonwn strength and dragging her to the bathroom which she filled with water and shoved her sister's head into it.
"MARIETE!" a voice called.
"I HATE YOU VALERIE! I HATE YOU! GO DIE!!"

"I hate you Valerie... go die..." Mariete said in her sleep, face stained with tears.
"MARIETE!" a person called and Mariete's eyes flew open, and she batted them getting used to thte light.

The light... she could see again...

[I was gonna stop right here]

"Mariete, are you okay?" Victor's voice penterated her thoughts.
"Victor is that you?" Mariete asked softly, her eyes back to life.
"Yes, it is, are you alright?" Victor asked.
"I can see..." Mariete whispered.

[too lazy, I'm going to end this.]

The Love Bet: Part 20 ♥

The Love Bet; Part 20
--

"Harold, why did you take me away from Valerie?" Mariete's mother slurred.
"Sweetie, you're drunk!" he exclaimed with realization.
"No, I'm not," she giggled as she reached towards the door.
"Mr. and Mrs. Welsh?" Victor said nervously, holding a bouquet of flowers, once again, in his hands and looking at the parents.
"Oh, Victor," Mr. Welsh said gruffly looking at the boy.
"Mr. Welsh, this is my friend, Derrick," Victor said as he side stepped to reveal the boy who was picking at his fingernails.
"Another friend of Mariete's?" Harold asked.
"Mr. Welsh, it's nice to see you again," Derrick said, shaking the hand of the man who was once his nerdy girlfriend's father.
"Harold, who's Mariete?" the mother asked, "are they all friends of Valerie's? God knows that she needs someone to talk to..."
"Ms. Welsh, we'll just go right in," Derrick faked a sickeningly sweet smile and opened the door.
"Have fun with Valerie!!" the mother said joyfully as Harold dragged her to the car and left the two teenage boys to talk to Mariete.
"Mr. Welsh, can I talk to you for a moment?" Victor asked as he caught up to the father.
"Of course."

***

"Hey Mariete, remember me?" Derrick asked smirking at the helpless girl in front of him, the girl who was sipping a cup of water.
"Who are you?" Mariete asked coldly, knowing fully well who it was.
"Wanna tell me who Valerie is?" Derrick asked casually.
"I have no idea, Derrick, get out!" Mariete said firmly.
"I'll tell you..." Derrick smiled smugly before walking around the room.

***
"Mr. Welsh, who's Valerie?" Victor asked him seriously.
"No comment," he said before opening the door and helping his wife into the car.
"Mr. Welsh," Victor said.
"Valarie, was our daughter," the older man said before turning away and going into the car.

***
"You see... you had an older sister..." Derrick said slowly as if talking to a three year old.
"I don't have one!" Mariete snapped.
"Not anymore, you don't, but what about before..." Derrick continued.
"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!" Mariete shot back, angrily.
"Of course I do, I heard your parents say that you almost..."

***
Victor walked back into the hospital thinking of Mariete. How was she now? Was Mariete feeling better? Could she see? Could she move her arms? Was she still the same? How was she faring with Derrick? Then he stopped, realizing what he had done.

"Fu**," he said under his breath before running into the building.

***
"No, I don't think I'll stop, after all, this was the reason why you came back wasn't it?" Derrick sneered at Mariete.
"Shut up!" Mariete said weakly.
"Tell me, did you enjoy making fun of me? Did you enjoy seeing my reaction?" he growled as he grabbed Mariete's arm.
"You don't know anything!" Mariete, refusing to be portrayed as weak.
"I know a lot of things. You thought you could use my best friend..." Derrick continued looking at the girl who was under his grip.
"Mariete?" Victor asked as he looked inside.
"Yes, bi*ch, tell him everything," Derrick growled, "or I'll tell everything else..."
"I refuse to," Mariete said softly.
"What, sweetie, I didn't here you," Derrick snapped.
"SHUT UP DERRICK!! YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! JUST SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Mariete wanted to cry and she let a tear slip, the first in weeks.
"So Victor, do you know who Valarie was?" Derrick asked.
"Yea, her older sister..." Victor said looking at Mariete, emotions masked.
"Do you want to know more?" Derrick asked wickedly as Mariete opened her eyes and you could see the emotionless eyes, except the tears...
"No, I don't, let's just go," Victor said roughly, grabbign his friends arm and pulling him away. There was something wrong.

There was a missing piece. Who exactly was Mariete? Who was Valarie? What was Derrick talking about?
***

Mariete blinked. She didn't have to of course. But she somehow knew that there was something wrong with her. She closed her eyes and wished that Derrick was wrong. She really didn't want to use Victor like Derrick had used her. She didn't want to, but right now, it was neccesary. She began to dream, and she hoped that her dreams would lead to the answers she so desperately needed.

The Love Bet: Part 19 ♥

The Love Bet; Part 19
--

Mariete woke up, much like every other day. But today was different. Everyday Mariete would wake up, attempt to move her arms, open her eyes once and realizr she was still helpless: unable to move and unable to see. And apparently, she hated it. But like it was stated, today was different. And Mariete once again, attempted to move her ams and check to see if she could see.

"Mom? Dad?" Mariete called out hesitantly. Mariete was greeted with silence, her parents were not yet at the hospital.

Mariete let out a sigh and lifted an arm. She tried to pull herself up, and prop herself up against her pillows. And she realized something, when she yawned, her hand had covered her mouth. And Mariete screamed.

"What happened?" someone asked, it was a nurse, as she yanked the door open.
"My arms, my hands... they can move again," Mariete said in amazement as she flexed her fingers, "but if only I could see again..."
"This is great news, it means that your body is starting to function well again," the nurse nodded in approval and how Mariete longed to see even the slightest of color, or even a simple shade.
"Is it okay... if I were to walk around the room?" Mariete asked hesitantly, as if afraid of the answer.
"At the moment, I'd advise that, you haven't been walking for so long," the nurse agreed before closing the door and leaving Mariete alone once more.

Mariete moved herself off the bed slowly, clutching onto the bed in case she fell. She took one cautious step, after another, little babysteps. She took one more step then another, and one more. She continued to hold onto the bed as if it was her life line. THen the door swung open, alarmed, Mariete fell to the ground.

"Good morning Valarie," a bubbly voice said as Mariete craned her neck towards the door.

Mariete hated not being able to see. And who the hell was Valarie?

"Um, excuse me, but I think you have the wrong room," Mariete said uncomfortably.
"What are you talking about, Val?" the voice said full of hurt.
"Um... I'm not Valarie," Mariete said in confusion as she pulled herself up.
"C'mon, Val, it isn't funny, not this time," the voice said disapprovingly.
"Brenda?" a male's voice said as he opened the door.
"Harold, look at Val," the voice continued in a bubbly voice, "isn't she just beautiful?"
"Brenda, this isn't Valarie," he said uncomfaortably, if Mariete could see, she would be glaring at her father.
"Of course it is! She looks exactly like her!" Mrs. Welsh scoffed.
"Mom, I'm Mariete..." Mariete said slowly.
"Nonsense, did you and your father trick me?" Mrs. Welsh said playfully as Mariete wished she could see.
"Seriously, snap out of it," Harold said firmly.
"Dad, what's wrong with mom?" Mariete asked.
"Nothing, she's just a little tired, her friend Valarie came to visit last night, so she must've gotten the names mixed up," Mariete's father lied before taking his wife's hand and holding it, tugging her towards the door, "I'm going to bring her home so she can rest up. It's nice to see that you recovered a little."

And on that note, they were out the door, leaving Mariete to think back. Who was Valarie? And would Mariete ever recover...?

The Love Bet: Part 18 ♥

The Love Bet; Part 18
--

"Mom, can I go to school?" Mariete asked her tired parents for the millionth time.
"No, Mariete, you can't," her mother said hesitantly, afraid of hurting her youngest daughter's feelings.
"Dad, will I ever be normal again?" Mariete asked her dad.
"We hope you will," the tired father said wearily.
"Sometimes hoping isn't enough," Mariete huffed as she attempted to cross her arms once more and found that she couldn't, "I hate being me, it's taking so long too, all I do in the hospital is... well... nothing!"
"You'll get better," her mother tried.
"Mr. and Mrs. Welsh, can I talk to you for a moment?" the doctor said as he opened the door.

Mariete's parents walked out the door too, leaving Mariete in silence, and she hated silence now. Maybe before this accident, she would've liked it, it could let her think, it let her sort things out, but now, everything was set out, so clear, so simple, and all she thought about was how to get better. She couldb't even plot when she was like this.

"I hate my life," Mariete said as she wished that she could finally see, she no longer opened her eyes, for there was no need, she couldn't see anymore anyways.

***

"Even after she is healed, there might be some side effects because it states here, in her medical records..."

***

Mariete sat there, unmoving, she was sweating and tried to pull her hair away from her face, she couldn't. She hated herself for it. She felt so weak, she was used to feeling more prouder than this. She hated the fact that she was like that.

***

"She hit her head, pretty hard, when she was just five after she tried to..."
"We know perfectly well what happened," Mrs. Welsh said, holding up a hand to tell the doctor to stop.
"And in addition, she might remember all of those things... because like I said, she..."

***

Mariete called out for her parents, the doctor, the nurse, anyone. She was tired of being there, tired of going through the same thing. She felt like she had been through this before, but when? The last time Mariete was in the hospital was well... Mariete tried to think back so far, she tried to remember. She couldn't remember anything past the age of six.

'Well, I'm in 11th grade now... in 10th grade I remember almost getting ran into by a car, in 9th grade I remember meeting Helen and Derrick, in 8th grade I got my braces removed. And thank god for that, in 7th grade I remember meeting Andrea but she became a total bi*** so I'm not friends with her now. In 6th grade was when I first entered junior high and got my braces. In 5th grade, I remember the graduation, I was salutatorion, and in 4th grade I remember falling off the swings. Then in 3rd grade, my mum and dad brought me to California, and in 2nd grade I remember accidentally cutting myself with a knife... In 1st grade I remember me lying to everyone,in 1st grade I had forgotten something... I was lying about it too...' MAriete thought as her face scrunched up in thought.

***

"And she hit her head this time too, pertty hard, did you two ever tell her what may or may not have happened?" the doctor asked the parents, Brenda was clutching her husband's hand in a death grip.
"We can't tell her everything, we didn't want her to know," Harold said as he tried to comfort his wife.
"Maybe you should tell her everything about A..." the doctor continued.

What the doctor and the parents didn't see though was a boy, hiding in the shadows when he heard them start talking. He had heard everything and he left the hospital, just because he didn't know what to make of the whole thing. He was confused...

The Love Bet: Part 17 ♥

The Love Bet; Part 17
--

The sun shone down upon the hospital bed and Mariette stirred from her sleep. Her mother and father had just arrived from home. It was now 9 A.M. and Mariette had already missed one week of school. They looked at her lovingly, pityingly and wished that she was awake, that she wasn't paralyzed, that she wasn't blind. But she was, she was still paralyzed and she was still blind.

"Do you think it's our fault for not paying her so much attention?" MRs. Welsh asked her husband quietly.
"We couldn't exactly just tell her straight out," Harold replied, hugging the weepy woman.
"But if only we ad told her, paid her a little more attention, maybe this wouldn't have happened," she cried, tears falling freely, like stars falling from the sky.
"We can't avoid it, it wasn't our fault," Harold pretested and MAriete began to awake, "she's waking up."
"Mum? Dad?" Mariette asked catiously as she tried to get up.
"Sweetie, we're right here," her sweet mother's voice calmed her immediately, it was better off for MAriete to not know.
"Mum, I was dreaming, and there was this girl, she was so beautiful and looked exactly like me," Mariete told the person, she hated not being able to see, "but the weird this was, that you and dad was there too, and I was standing right next to her," she continued, "and when she talked to you, it was so melodic, and when you looked at her, you seemed to see through me and..." Mariete paused to take a breath, "I thought you guys had replaced me, that I was just a ghost, and I missed being with you..."
"It was just a dream," Harold said softly, "dreams don't mean anything in particular."
"But, daddy, that's the thing, they don't mean anything to you, but to me, they mean the world," MAriete sighed as she tried to move her arm again.

Mariete was lucky she couldn't see because if she could, she would see her mother crying, trying not to let the sound of her heart being heard. Trying to wipe away all those tears and knowing she could never tell Mariete everything. She regretted it. And Mariete was lucky she couldn't move, because if she could hug her mom, she would realize her mom was thinner and she would feel her tears when they hugged and the shakes that she was having when she cried. But Mariete wanted to see, even if all she could see was her mother's tears, she wanted to be able to hold her mom again, to be there. And MAriete wanted to cry.

"Mum, Dad, I wish I could see again, and just hug you two..." MAriete said softly before the door opened and closed.
"Is there any progress from last time?" the doctor asked as he clicked his pen annoyingly.
"No, doc, i thought you were the smart one, I still can't see, and on top of that, my arms still can't move, and no matter how hard my mom tries to hide from me that she's crying, I can still tell," Mariete said harshly, the doctor couldn't save her, only time could after all, time healed all wounds.
"I'm sorry you feel that way about me," the doctor said before recording some quick notes and leaving the room, the door shutting behind him onlyto be opened shortly afterwards.
"Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Welsh, isn't it a lovely Saturday?" a voice said a little too happy for such a sad and dreary place.
"Hello Victor, are you here to see Mariete again?" Brenda asked the boy.
"Yea, just for a friendly visit, to see how she's doing and all," Victor smiled at her parents and Mariete wished she could see that smile.
"That's sweet," Mariete's mother cooed.
"Yea, and here are some flowers for her," Victor added as he held out the bouquet in his hands, "I know she can't see them or hold them, but I thought that she might enjoy the scent and if she doesn't, at least you guys would."
"Thank you Victor, please leave," MAriete said coldly, craning her head to look at him even though she couldn't see.
"WEll, all the teachers and students also sent me here on their behalf, they want to tell you that they hope they see you again soon, and that you have a hastey recovery from your accident," Victor continued to smile, trying to forget that cold gaze of hers, "and I didn't tell them about it, just in case you didn't want me to."
"How thoughtful," Mariete said sarcastically.
"Well, I have to go, my mom expects me home," Victor lied before exiting and the click of the door closing was heard once again.
"Mariete," Harold started, "that was rude beyond belief!"
"You didn't exactly expect me to greet him with open arms did you?" Mariete scoffed as she tried to cross her arms.
"Actually, we did, how could you?" Brenda said, "He's been really kind, and he was one of the only people who visited you!"
"I really don't care," Mariete snapped before resigning and realized she was so tired, "I'm going back to sleep, there's nothing else to do anyways..."
"Have pleasent dreams," her parents said softly.

Mariete wanted pleasent dreams, but all she wanted was for her to be recovered. She still had to finish her revenge and that wouldn't work if she was stuck in the hospital bed and mad at Victor. She needed a new plan and she prayed that God would answer her in her dreams...